dear everybody,

I love using tumblr as my diary but the past few weeks have remained mostly off of this which is nice but I feel like throwing some words into the open via this blog too.  Things have been hard.  Actually not just kinda hard, things have been absolute shit.  I really lost a couple of people who meant more to me than anyone else, more than they should’ve ever meant.  And it’s not like they died, either.  They’re still around, still getting lunch with me, still going to the same events and parties.  idk I’m super dramatic and lately I’ve been focusing too much on one relationship instead of all the others I’ve made but losing people fucking sucks especially when you know you have to for your own sake.  To keep myself alive I’m quitting things.  Quitting people, quitting coffee, quitting unnecessary stress, quitting alc, quitting holding things inside.  I’m stripping down to a more raw self and it’s terrifying but the fear feels kind of good.