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At the groceries store

calakazam:

toyota:

Me: can u give me x²+4y+ of tomatoes & 2(x²+8xy^3) of potatoes please

Seller: I dont understand

Me: well i dont give a f**** i didnt study in vain

those are polynomials you asked for a neverending curve of tomatoes

(via thats-so-meme)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

i love the term “bear with me” because it could mean either 1 of 2 things:

  • asking someone to be patient
  • confirmation that the zoo heist was a success

(via kasubi)

marginalising:

NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT A GOD DAMN RELATIONSHIP AND LOSING WEIGHT AND BEING BEAUTIFUL FOR GODS SAKE GO OUTSIDE AND ROB A STORE AND FEEL ALIVE AS YOU RUN AWAY FROM SECURITY

(Source: jdandachi, via officialnsa)

witneyhouston:

me: hi, can i have a large—

starbucks employee: you mean a venti?

me: can we not do this 

(via lambpost)